Todd wrote;
Yesterday, (Friday, 9/4) was an interesting day. To give you a little background, ever since we began the adoption process for Joshua we knew he had eye glasses and was supposed to wear them all the time but in all the pictures we received of him, only a couple showed him actually wearing them. During his Visa medical exam, the doctor told us it was important for him to wear them all the time so today we told him through hand gestures that he needed to wear them. He didn’t want to but we persisted and he agreed to put them on. He seems to be very self conscience about them and didn’t want to wear them in public but again we talked him into it. He would put them on and when we weren’t looking would take them off and put them in his pocket. We would remind him again and he would put them on only to take them off when we weren’t looking. Finally, we had someone who could speak English ask him why he didn’t want to wear them and he told them they hurt his eyes. We took him to a vision center to have them check the glasses and they told us they were the wrong prescription and tried to test his eyes to determine the correct one. They weren’t able to do it and told us we needed to take him to an optometrist. We took him back to the same hospital where we got his medical exam and they did an eye exam and gave us the correct prescription and explained to him we were going to get him new glasses. He was happy and we think he will wear them once he gets the new ones. They are supposed to be ready next Thursday. We felt bad about pushing him to wear the old ones but we had no idea they were the wrong prescription. We bought him some Thai/English books and he loves to read them. The picture is of him reading while waiting on his eye exam.
Chae Wrote:
We still didn’t make it shopping for Joshua’s new shoes. We went to the mall after the eye exam but as soon we got out of the cab we turned around and left. Everywhere we go we are the center of attention and everyday we see more and more different behavior and we are not sure how to respond. We expected some adjustment and bonding issues but this seems to be different behavior that we are seeing. We think he is behaving this way due to adjustment and bonding issues and also the communication barrier but it could also be a medical issue. It is very hard because we don’t know. We had to avoid dinner out and shopping yesterday and come back to the hotel to eat because it was getting too hard. Going to the optical store and hospital was enough public attention for him and us. He seems to be fonder of Todd than me and we have to deliberately remind him constantly that I’m also part of the family. He hasn’t fully rejected me, but he would rather Todd do everything for him than me. I researched this a lot and heard it from other adoptive mothers and know it is common in adoptions but didn’t expect it to actually be this hard. I thought the people I had read about were just whining :-) I know this is a journey and that everything will not always be smooth sailing but it is hard when you are in the middle of it. Please continue to keep Joshua and us in your prayers.
Yesterday, (Friday, 9/4) was an interesting day. To give you a little background, ever since we began the adoption process for Joshua we knew he had eye glasses and was supposed to wear them all the time but in all the pictures we received of him, only a couple showed him actually wearing them. During his Visa medical exam, the doctor told us it was important for him to wear them all the time so today we told him through hand gestures that he needed to wear them. He didn’t want to but we persisted and he agreed to put them on. He seems to be very self conscience about them and didn’t want to wear them in public but again we talked him into it. He would put them on and when we weren’t looking would take them off and put them in his pocket. We would remind him again and he would put them on only to take them off when we weren’t looking. Finally, we had someone who could speak English ask him why he didn’t want to wear them and he told them they hurt his eyes. We took him to a vision center to have them check the glasses and they told us they were the wrong prescription and tried to test his eyes to determine the correct one. They weren’t able to do it and told us we needed to take him to an optometrist. We took him back to the same hospital where we got his medical exam and they did an eye exam and gave us the correct prescription and explained to him we were going to get him new glasses. He was happy and we think he will wear them once he gets the new ones. They are supposed to be ready next Thursday. We felt bad about pushing him to wear the old ones but we had no idea they were the wrong prescription. We bought him some Thai/English books and he loves to read them. The picture is of him reading while waiting on his eye exam.
Chae Wrote:
We still didn’t make it shopping for Joshua’s new shoes. We went to the mall after the eye exam but as soon we got out of the cab we turned around and left. Everywhere we go we are the center of attention and everyday we see more and more different behavior and we are not sure how to respond. We expected some adjustment and bonding issues but this seems to be different behavior that we are seeing. We think he is behaving this way due to adjustment and bonding issues and also the communication barrier but it could also be a medical issue. It is very hard because we don’t know. We had to avoid dinner out and shopping yesterday and come back to the hotel to eat because it was getting too hard. Going to the optical store and hospital was enough public attention for him and us. He seems to be fonder of Todd than me and we have to deliberately remind him constantly that I’m also part of the family. He hasn’t fully rejected me, but he would rather Todd do everything for him than me. I researched this a lot and heard it from other adoptive mothers and know it is common in adoptions but didn’t expect it to actually be this hard. I thought the people I had read about were just whining :-) I know this is a journey and that everything will not always be smooth sailing but it is hard when you are in the middle of it. Please continue to keep Joshua and us in your prayers.
We will pray and are praying! Bless your hearts! What an adjustment for all of you. But God is faithful! My quiet time today was from Psalm 5.
ReplyDelete"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord ; you cover him with favor as with a shield." v 11~12
I will pray for favor as a with a shield!
Much love~
Kam
Hi, Todd and Chae! Thanks for sharing. We can certainly relate with trying to parent a new child in such a public setting, not to mention the language barrier. It's so difficult when you cannot even explain expectations. People aren't quite as understanding when it's not a toddler that you're adopting! :) It WILL get easier. It does take time, though. He will learn and grow in so many ways. You'll get through some issues, and new ones will pop up. Hang in there! It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job!!
ReplyDeleteChae, what you were saying reminded me a lot of what my friend, Megan (who recently adopted an 8 year old boy from Thailand) has gone through. You can read what she said at her blog... The posts are titled "Attachment" http://jettothailand.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-06-21T19%3A16%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=10.
Please feel free to email me anytime if you need to chat. We're praying for you! Keep us posted on all your happenings!
Love,
Ellie
Chae:
ReplyDeleteWhen Charlie came to us full time at 10 1/2 months it was very difficult. His birth mother did not hold, cuddle or touch him except to dress him. He also had severe allergies and his skin was dry and itchy, so he also didn't want to be touched. It took nearly 6 months of attempting to cuddle him and pat him (i just did it naturally and didn't even think about it) and him pushing my hand away before he finally was accepting and naturally came to me for cuddles and hugs. Now, I can't drop him to school, leave the house without him or come home without the biggest hugs! Hang in there, it will just take some time and it will be well worth it! My thoughts & prayers are with you, Annie